In an increasing number of American households, the role of primary breadwinner is going to the female partner.
Men still bear that title in a majority of marriages, according to the Pew Research Center. But the share is declining and many families are inching closer to a state of parity where the husband and wife each earn between 40% and 60% of the household income.
“I think when women take on more financial responsibilities that it does impact the household in other ways,” said Jamila Souffrant, a personal finance educator, writer, and podcaster. “As women, as breadwinners, we need to decide or understand what it is we’re willing to give up so we can get our time back, our energy back and so we can do more with our family or with our finances.”
Souffrant worked in a corporate job until deciding to strike out on her own as an entrepreneur. She created a blog, “Journey to Launch,” about striving for financial independence. It became a podcast and ultimately her career as a financial educator.
Watching my mom as a single mom raised me at a young age, and seeing what she had to do in order to provide for me, for our family, really showed like in real time what a female breadwinner was. It was someone who was resourceful, someone who had a growth mindset, so someone who really pushed forward even when things weren't always going her way. And it really inflicted on me or impacted me in a way in which I took that with my career and with my business now is that, you know, it's not about having everything's figured out, it's not about having all the resources, it's about making yourself your best resource. So that you can do your best with what you have. I think when women take on more financial responsibility, that it does impacts the household in other ways. And of course, it's going to be household by household, but for example, in my situation, when I was earning money as the breadwinner, I was able to deploy those resources into help. So as women, as breadwinners, we need to decide or understand what is it that we're willing to give up. So we can get our time back, our energy back, and so we can do more with our family or with our finances. I think children, it's so important for them to see their mothers, the women in their households, working or at least appreciating the work they do. It's important to have the children respect whatever work load that the woman has. And I think sometimes my kids think or used to think that I didn't work because I had more flexibility to be at home because I was an entrepreneur. And I had to continually teach them and tell them mommy is doing this interview, mommy is writing this book, and bringing them more into my world and explaining that I also have a job to do. Women can assert themselves to be more financial leaders by speaking up. I think it's so important that we are open with our partners about our desires and needs in our household. For us as breadwinners, or if you're even making as much as your partner or less, I believe that we should have an equal say. We should understand or be a part of the decision-making process. And so that means asking questions, getting access to the accounts, not just relying on what you think is your husband to do all the work for you. It's so important that we have that say, that we are in putting our decisions and our thoughts, because we are as a whole community in our household and we are leading it together with our spouse.
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She had a captive audience: her own three children.
“Children, it’s so important for them to see their mothers, the women in their household working or at least appreciating the work they do,” she said. “Sometimes my kids think — or used to think — I didn’t work because I had the flexibility to be at home because I was an entrepreneur.”
The shift in roles can and should be empowering, Souffrant said.
“For us as breadwinners, or if you’re even making as much as you’re partner or less, I believe that we should have an equal say. We should understand and be a part of the decision-making process,” she said. “And so that means asking questions, getting access to the accounts, not just relying on … your husband to do all the work for you.
“It’s so important that we have that say, that we are inputting our decisions and our thoughts because we are as a whole community in our household and we are leading it together with our spouse.”
You can find our Breaking Barriers: Women's Financial Freedom Panel here or watch on your preferred streaming service.