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You’re more productive when you work from home, but every few minutes, your phone pings with a message from your boss. They want to know exactly what you’re working on, when you’ll be filing a report, and whether you can attend meetings on X, Y and Z. After a while, you get the feeling that they’re checking up on you.
Managers want their dealings with employees to be adult-to-adult. But sometimes, even the most well-intentioned leaders slip into parenting mode — and end up treating their employees like children.
Micromanaging is common in workplaces, and it’s just one way that leaders infantilise their workers. According to a survey by Monster, 73% of workers considered micromanagement the biggest workplace "red flag" — and 46% said it was a reason they would quit.
So why do some managers act like babysitters — and how can we stamp out this toxic leadership habit?
“I see this often in my work with entrepreneurs — leaders who unknowingly slip into a parent-child dynamic with their teams,” says Chantel Cohen, a licensed therapist who specialises in working with business leaders.
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Sometimes, this kind of behaviour stems from their own childhood. They don’t always intend to be condescending or overbearing, but their leadership style is deeply shaped by their own upbringing.
“This tends to happen to clients who grew up with controlling parents, where love felt conditional on achievement,” she explains. “They became the ‘golden child’ — mastering the art of meeting high expectations. And now, as leaders, they unknowingly recreate that same dynamic with their employees. Their team isn’t just executing work — in their mind, the team’s output is a direct reflection of them.”
Micromanaging isn’t the only way employers infantilise their workers. They may also talk down to people, offer public praise for basic duties, offer "perks" instead of necessities like flexible work, and may put in place rigid rules with no clear basis.
“Infantilising employees doesn’t just damage morale, it also zaps innovation at its core,” says Cohen. “When leaders operate in parental mode, they’re reinforcing a system where only their perspective matters.
“Employees quickly learn that thinking outside the box isn’t rewarded and, if anything, it’s discouraged. And that’s a dangerous place for any business,” she says. “The reality is, people don’t walk away from jobs — they walk away from bad managers. Leaders who can’t relinquish control end up with high turnover, because nobody wants to feel like a child in a job meant for an adult.”