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The good news is that most of us have got the memo — financially healthy relationships mean both partners taking responsibility for money matters.
New research for Hargreaves Lansdown found that 55% of people say they manage short-term finances, like paying the bills and saving for a holiday, between them and their partner. More than half (51%) take a share of the responsibility for longer-term planning like investments and pensions too.
However, while plenty of people are doing the right thing, it still leaves a big number washing their hands of their own finances.
There’s a gender split that means more women are living in the dark. A bigger percentage of men say they wear the financial trousers in their relationship — over a third (36%) say they look after the long-term and short-term planning for their whole household, and fewer than one in 10 say their partner does.
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A similar number of women say they leave everything to their partner, but far fewer say they manage things alone — 29% say they handle short-term planning and 23% the long term.
Another group risking being cut off from their finances are those aged 35-54, because only 46% plan for the long term together. This may owe something to the fact that the gender pay gap starts widening at this age, and in some cases one of the couple will have stopped work or cut back their hours for caring responsibilities. With unequal finances, they may decide to leave some things up to the highest earner.
This may feel like a sensible approach because, as with any other household chore, you can leave it to the person who likes the job more or is better at it. It may seem like a good way for the less engaged partner to avoid dealing with financial issues, but it could backfire. There’s the risk that the money manager over the short-term makes a mistake, or builds up problems that they don’t feel they can share. The couple may be facing debts that only one of them has any idea about.
Over the long term, one partner may be prioritising their own plans for the future, and not discussing it, which could mean the other falls well short of the retirement they want, or ends up dependent on their partner. And while some couples are happy to manage money this way, others want the independence of money of their own throughout their life.
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Even if the person who is in charge does a perfect job for both of you, if one of you hands over all financial responsibilities to the other, you need to think about what you’d do if you suddenly found yourself on your own. It might feel like a lot of work to get up to speed, but it’s up to both of you to strike a balance that stands you in good stead for the future.