When my husband and I wed in 2012, we knowingly exposed our marriage to potential complexities based simply on the fact that I brought home a bigger paycheck. I had recently started researching my new book, "When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women," and discovered some sobering statistics unique to relationships with this increasingly common financial dynamic. Today, 24% of wives earn more than their husbands, four times greater than in the 1960s, according to Pew.
I didn't discover all bad news, but the heap of negative data was evidence enough that we were desperate for a much better, far more creative roadmap to support these modern relationships (mine included). Before we can wholly celebrate women’s financial and professional ascent, we need to overcome the potential challenges she and her partner may face in their relationship when it comes to intimacy, finances, child rearing and “making it all work.”
More divorce
When she makes more marriage difficulties jump and divorce rates rise by 50%. Economists at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business and the National University of Singapore found that traditional views of gender identity, particularly the perception that it’s a man’s job to make more money than his wife, affect whether or not women marry, whom they marry, how much they decide to work, and even whether couples choose to stay married.
More infidelity
Cheating, too, becomes a greater problem. A 2010 Cornell University study examined 18- to 28-year-old married couples and couples living together for more than a year. Men who were completely dependent on their female partner’s salary were five times more likely to cheat than men who made an equal amount of money.
His ego is bruised
Not all men, but some will begin to question their masculinity when he makes less. A study from the University of Florida and the University of Virginia discovered that a man’s self-esteem and ego take a hit when his female partner prospers, and it can negatively impact his outlook on their relationship.
What gives? The study suggests that “having a partner who experiences a success might hurt men’s implicit self-esteem because ambition and success are qualities that are generally important to women when selecting a mate.”
A separate body of research by Lamar Pierce, professor of strategy at Washington University’s Olin Business School in St. Louis, found that many men still believe it’s important for them to earn more than their wives.
In his study, published in early 2013, Pierce found that in relationships where women make a little bit more than their partners, men are about 10% more likely to require prescription pills to combat erectile dysfunction (ED), insomnia, and anxiety.