Starbucks is entering a new era — and 4 jokes reveal the biggest problems haunting its business
starbucks_preview 1
starbucks_preview 1

(Hollis Johnson / Business Insider)

  • Starbucks is sandwiched between inexpensive fast-food chains and high-end "third wave" coffee shops.

  • While it built its empire on its cool, Euro-inspired image, Starbucks is increasingly known for "basic" drinks like the Unicorn Frappuccino.

  • Moving away from the core brand sent Starbucks "over its skis" in the past, the CEO told Business Insider — and he's well aware of past mistakes.

  • Starbucks' new mission: to be everything to everyone.

The other weekend I went with my family to a coffee shop that my mother deemed "the most beautiful" Starbucks she'd ever seen.

It was a sprawling, comfortable space on the main street in suburban Michigan, where we were visiting family. The exterior was covered in wood shingles and river rocks. Customers lounged in chairs outside and tapped away on their laptops at tables indoors. Chatty baristas were happy to help us with my mom's low-cal venti iced-coffee order, my cold brew, my dad's tea, and my brother's request to use a bathroom.

Starbucks
Starbucks

(The "most beautiful" Starbucks in suburban Michigan.Ann Taylor)

It had little in common with the drive-thru Starbucks my parents visit in North Carolina or the crowded store where I pick up my mobile coffee orders in New York City.

These differences show the central tension of what Starbucks has become: all things to all people, and in the process, a brand that's become intermittently muddled and decidedly middlebrow.

Once the chain that persuaded Americans to spend $4 on a cup of coffee with Italian names for drinks and sizes that made coffee an elite experience bordering on pretentiousness, the Starbucks of 2017 is just as known for the super-sweet Pumpkin Spice Latte and the made-for-Instagram Unicorn Frappuccino.

Starbucks is sandwiched between lower-end brands like Dunkin' Donuts and McDonald's, which siphon off some of Starbucks' customers with lower prices, and, at the other end, the "third wave" chains such as Intelligentsia and Blue Bottle, with their precise pour-overs and baristas who make art out of latte foam.

As Starbucks enters a new era, with plans to open 10,000 locations in five years, and the move of longtime CEO Howard Schultz (the man behind the brand's most revolutionary choices) from chief executive to chairman of the board, the company is trying to figure out if it can be everything to everyone.

That means serving Unicorn Frappuccinos for Instagram-obsessed college students, nitro cold brew for snobs, and a morning cup of joe for commuters on the go. All the while, it needs to fend off competition that its own success helped create at both ends of the market.