Adult Americans are increasingly finding themselves in the position of caring for aging, ailing parents or other relatives. In the U.S., about 53 million adults are unpaid caregivers, which means they help aging family members, spouses or friends with daily tasks such as bathing, cooking or taking medication, according to an annual report by SeniorLiving.org.
The report found that 43% of caregivers are the sole providers of care, spending about 20 hours a week on caregiving duties. But 53% of those also work full-time jobs. While this can take an emotional toll, it can also breed resentment between siblings if one feels they’re taking on most (or all) of the caregiving duties. And, if the inheritance doesn’t reflect this uneven division of labor, that resentment could manifest in a legal battle.
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Consider the case of Genevieve, whose mother passed away from cancer. Genevieve’s sister took on the bulk of caregiving duties while their mother was ill, since she lived about a half hour’s drive away. Genevieve wasn’t able to contribute much of her time since she lives across the country, has a full-time job and is raising two kids of her own.
Now her sister says Genevieve doesn’t “deserve” her $223,000 inheritance (half of their mother’s estate, divided equally between the sisters) because she didn’t help out with caregiving duties for their mother while she was ill. Genevieve is wondering how to keep her share of the inheritance while keeping the peace with her sister — or if that’s even possible.
Resolving familial friction over an inheritance
Disputes over an inheritance or estate can create rifts in family relationships and even lead to lengthy — and expensive — legal battles. Ideally, issues around inheritance should be dealt with while the parent or parents are still alive. For example, a family trust could provide the caregiving child with a payment for services rendered (comparable to the rate of a home care provider), and whatever is left after the parent(s) pass away is then split according to the will.
Or, the parent(s) could make another type of arrangement, such as splitting the money equally between the children but leaving the house to the caregiving child (say, by establishing a joint tenancy so the house automatically passes on to the caregiving child). The same could be done with a bank account or brokerage account.