What was modeled for us as children seems to lead us down one of two paths: We either grow up to emulate what we experienced or we do the exact opposite. This can happen whether what was modeled for us was positive or negative.
If the model was extreme — well, that almost guarantees we’ll contradict it. That is definitely true when it comes to managing money.
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Different Kids, Different Experiences
My issues with money began long before I had children, but, of course, I continued making money mistakes after they were born.
My two oldest sons witnessed firsthand the money mistakes my husband and I made, as well as the steps we took to correct them. The age difference between my three children is pretty significant, with about 10 years between each. As a result of the age gap, my two boys grew up during different stages of our financial journey. My oldest grew up while we were making mistakes and digging our financial hole, while our younger son grew up as we were climbing out of it.
Because of their different experiences, I affectionately think of them as my “Debt Kid” and my “Debt-Free Kid.”
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Debt Kid vs. Debt-Free Kid
Debt Kid got to enjoy our financed, debt-filled lifestyle. It was not necessarily extravagant, but it was marked by living outside of our means. He got to enjoy travel, a lot of dining out, shopping as a pastime and lavish holidays and birthdays.
He was a teenager when we started taking steps to manage our money better. Surprisingly, he was mature and understanding throughout the two-year process of paying off our debt.
My other son, Debt-Free Kid, was a preschooler when we began cleaning things up. Even though we were still living beyond our means during his first few years of life, he was too little to remember that stage. For the most part, he was exposed to frugal living, couponing and strictly operating within our means.
As you can imagine, they have different attitudes regarding money. But, I am surprised at how those differences have been playing out given their distinct experiences, and I’ve observed some key areas where my model has affected their spending and saving habits.
Experiences vs. Stuff
Debt Kid will spend his money on activities and going out with friends, but when it comes to spending in other areas, he’s pretty conservative. By “conservative,” I mean cheap. He will go far too long without making some much-needed replacements in his wardrobe or covering other basics because he doesn’t want to spend the money.