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Frank Michael D'Amore[/caption] “By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But, when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning.” —Lao Tsu This quote may be anathema to many lawyers. After all, so many practitioners rightfully cite their inestimable work ethic as a key to their success. The reason for that is rather simple, as the equation of “hard work + intellect = positive results” worked very well in school and in the earliest stages of their careers. The stakes tend to rise as one’s career progresses, and it is disappointing to learn that the equation no longer automatically yields winning results. For instance, despite being very smart, doing terrific work, and logging mega hours, someone is edged out for partnership by another lawyer who may be just a step behind in one or more of those categories, but has built a nice book of business. Similarly, a job opportunity that a lawyer is eminently qualified for slips through her hands when another aspirant, who’s somewhat less experienced, dazzles in the interviews and gets the position. When things like this happen, many lawyers assume that they can change the outcome the next time by working even harder. That is understandable, as it is the ethos on which our country was formed and, as noted, it is a characteristic that serves so many lawyers quite well. Moreover, doing so can even induce a strange sense of comfort, as hunkering down on their computer, rereading key documents or cases, and generally working up the proverbial sweat actually feels good. In my opinion, this approach, to simply ratchet up the effort, sometimes makes things worse, as counterintuitive as that may seem. For example, I have worked with lawyers who demonstrated that tendency, such as a trial lawyer who was so obsessed that he had to win a certain case—due to its ramifications—that he barely slept the week before the trial commenced. This lawyer lost the case, not only because he was not as sharp as usual, but also due to having caught a cold that very well may have resulted from his immunity being compromised due to his diminished sleep. Similarly, I recall an attorney who wanted a general counsel position so badly, especially since she was miserable at her firm, that her search preparation consumed her, as she almost couldn’t stop reading every word published about the company. Feedback from the client revealed that she didn’t get the job since the lawyer felt compelled to interject, often forcibly so, all that she learned at various stages of the interview. While the lawyer was regurgitating her acquired knowledge, she didn’t personally connect with her interviewers and missed a lot of important nonverbal clues. These are but two examples, but they have a key common thread: trying extraordinarily hard to almost will an outcome into existence. While there may be some romanticism in the concept of the dedicated warrior who pulls out every possible stop to achieve a big win, it usually doesn’t happen that way, as you more often are in situations where indomitable will does not carry the day. Life happens along the way and the lawyer who is clutching the case, deal, or other matter so closely to his chest, so that he can will it across the finish line, can be hamstrung by that single-mindedness. This could take the form of not adequately hearing a suggestion that a fellow team member offered, or missing a signal that a judge, opponent or client gives, due to sheer exhaustion. Most importantly, and not to get too cosmic, but, when one gets too tight, things just stop flowing, especially the type of intuitive insights that can make the difference. To wit, think of how many times a great idea pops into your mind when you are in the shower, are taking a walk, are meditating, or have put work aside to enjoy time with your family or friends. What’s the commonality in those situations? You are relaxed and when you are in that state, you almost magically become so much more open to receiving guidance—the type that doesn’t reach the obsessed lawyer. I can attest to this, as a partner spoke with me about a pitch that he headed for a significant, national representation of a client. The lawyer wanted this so badly, as he related, that he “could taste it,” as his firm really needed the revenue that the representation would trigger. The partner recounted that he strategized about every aspect of the pitch and brought "anyone who was anyone" into the presentation. The partner reported that everyone in his firm performed admirably, but the client selected another firm. Years later, the decision-maker for the client related that a key factor in the decision was that the partner and his team appeared to want the representation too badly and thus seemed to need it greatly. By contrast, the firm that won the work was more relaxed, assured and confident, which gave the client a crucial feeling that picking them was a much more secure decision. How can you better perform when there is an important goal that is on the line? And, in so doing, how can you let go and not try to force the outcome? I offer these five suggestions. First, focus more on working smart and not reflexively working endlessly on every possible facet of your endeavor, including the most arcane. Not missing something is the hallmark of being a good lawyer and I am not suggesting you deviate from that precept. What I am advocating is that you allocate more of your time to the crucial aspects of your case, deal, or project and not be afraid that only reviewing minor points three times is not enough. Second, adopt a positive attitude and surround yourself with other team members who share that mindset. If you, or others, are worrywarts who keep pointing out what can go wrong, that negativity can become a self-fulling prophecy. Contingency planning for what could happen is important, but obsessing on what could befall you can be crippling. Henry Ford had a great, and apropos quote in this regard: “If you think you can, or can’t, you’re probably right.” Third, embrace the unknown and let go of the fear as to what the result may be. I realize this is easier said than done, but there are steps you can take to adopt this approach. One is to recall the successes you have achieved and draw on those experiences to realize you can do it again. Think about the challenges you overcame, which should help empower you this time. Also, remember that even when you have failed, and we all have, you picked yourself up again and will do that this time, too, should the decision you seek goes the other way. Fourth, resist the temptation to over-control the process and your team. When fear arises, trying to manage every aspect of the matter can seemingly tamp down that fire. If this is a solo endeavor, just focus on the parts of the process that are within your purview and don’t attempt to wrest control of those things outside of your influence. If it is a team effort, give your fellow lawyers and staff the latitude to do their jobs—it will empower them and will take some pressure off you, too. Finally, when it is time to perform, be relaxed like the law firm that snatched that pitch away from the partner discussed, above. Realize that you’ll do the very best you can under the circumstances and detach from what the outcome will be. Hopefully, it will go your way. If not, you’ll learn from the experience, will pick yourself up, and will do even better next time. Frank Michael D'Amore is the founder of Attorney Career Catalysts, a Pennsylvania-based legal recruiting and consulting firm that focuses on law firm mergers and partner placements. He is a former partner in an AmLaw 200 firm, general counsel in privately held and publicly traded companies, and vice president of business development. Contact him at fmd@attycareers.com.