College admissions scandal reveals worst parents ever

Imagine you’re a rich parent whose kid lacks the grades or test scores to get into the University of Texas. Money is no object. What should you do?

If you’re thinking you should get that kid some tutoring or enroll him in a test-prep course, you’re wrong! The obvious solution is to pay a surrogate test-taker to pump up his SAT scores. Then bribe a tennis coach to sponsor the kid for some kind of loophole student-athlete admission. You might end up paying 10 times the regular tuition in bribes and fees, but it’s worth it to set junior up for a lifetime of success.

For those unschooled in the wiles of the wealthy, this is the remarkable scheme revealed by a federal indictment charging a cabal of conniving parents, university coaches and Machiavellian fixers to get rich kids into colleges they wouldn’t otherwise qualify for. There seem to have been two parts to the fraud. The first was making sure the kids had adequate SAT or ACT scores, which required the hiring of a professional test-cheater from Florida, for fees ranging from $15,000 to $75,000. One cheating tactic: Ask for extra time when taking the test, on account of phony learning disabilities.

With inflated SAT or ACT scores, the college-bound kids still needed a backdoor way into schools they weren’t qualified for. So: sports. Fraudsters running the scheme bribed coaches at at least 8 prominent schools, including Georgetown, Stanford, UCLA, USC, the University of San Diego, Yale and Wake Forest, in addition to UT. The coach would find a way for the substandard kid to apply as an athlete, therefore enjoying relaxed admission standards. But most of the kids weren’t athletes and didn’t even play the sport they were signing up for. In one instance cited by the indictment, a middleman lays out instructions for creating a fake soccer profile for a girl applying to Yale. Among the tips: “need a soccer pic probably Asian girl.”

In addition to the masterminds of the scheme and the coaches they allegedly bribed, legal documents name more than 30 parents charged with mail fraud for trying to cheat and bribe their kids’ way into school. As widely reported, they include the actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin.

This combination photo shows actress Lori Loughlin at the Women's Cancer Research Fund's An Unforgettable Evening event in Beverly Hills, Calif., on Feb. 27, 2018, left, and actress Felicity Huffman at the 70th Primetime Emmy Awards in Los Angeles on  Sept. 17, 2018. Loughlin and Huffman are among at least 40 people indicted in a sweeping college admissions bribery scandal. Both were charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and wire fraud in indictments unsealed Tuesday in federal court in Boston. (AP Photo)
Actresses Lori Loughlin, left, and Felicity Huffman in Beverly Hills on Feb. 27, 2018. Both are named defendants in a college-admissions cheating and bribery scandal. (AP Photo)

There are also some prominent business and finance names, including Doug Hodge, the former CEO of investing giant Pimco, William McGlashan of investing firm TPG, and Gordon Caplan of law firm Wilkie Farr. The suit also charges fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli, who is Loughlin’s husband. But it does not name the actor William H. Macy, who is married to Huffman.