If the words, “Life is too short to work with jerks” have never come out of your mouth, then you either have a very short memory or you’re just not being honest with yourself. Nobody likes to work with jerks. I didn’t either, until I realized I was one.
Wait...what?
You heard right. I’m a jerk. But here’s the thing: I’m not a jerk all the time or to everyone. It depends. Work relationships are funny that way. They’re two-way streets, highly subjective, and situational, as well.
Look at it this way: The workplace is a diverse melting pot of personalities, personal baggage, and different perspectives. Besides, everyone reacts differently to the pressures, stresses and uncertainty of modern competitive markets.
If you want to survive and thrive in a fast-paced entrepreneurial environment, you’ve got to learn how to handle all kinds of people, including those you may think are jerks. This is how successful executives and business leaders do that.
Look in the mirror. People are often jerks to those they feel threatened by and those they perceive to be jerks. It’s always a good idea to make sure you’re not contributing to the problem. You can always ask a trusted third party or deal with your nemesis directly and try to clear the air.
Related: Note to Self: Be Aware
Address the problem, not the person. Confrontation is good for business, if you know the ground rules. Perhaps the most valuable tenet of constructive confrontation is to always discuss the issue and never make it personal. It’s one thing to say you don’t like someone’s idea, but if you say you don’t like him, that’s inflammatory.
Resist the urge to label or judge. Once you slap a label or pronounce judgment on someone – even if just in your own mind – that just makes it harder to shake it. Even worse is inventing motives out of thin air. You’re not a shrink, you have no idea why people do the things they do – oftentimes they don’t know themselves – so you’ll most likely be wrong.
Get your priorities straight. Business is about business; it’s not about you and your personal issues with someone else. Focus on your priorities and finding the most effective way to get the job done. After all, that’s what you’re paid to do. If that sounds like tough love, you’re absolutely right.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. I was trained in conflict management as a young manager, and the most effective tool is to listen carefully to what the other person is saying and try repeating it back to them: “Let me see if I understand. Are you saying _____ ?” You’ll be surprised how often that defuses tense situations.