Apple's HomePod speaker: Either way late or way early

Apple (AAPL) has never been ashamed to be late to the party. The iPod wasn’t the first pocket music player; the iPhone wasn’t the first cellphone; the Apple Watch wasn’t the first smartwatch. But in each case, Apple won the category by making its product better.

On Friday, you’ll be able to buy the HomePod, Apple’s answer to the smart speakers from companies like Amazon, Google, and Sonos. It is indeed way late to the party, even by Apple’s definition — last June, Apple said that it would ship the HomePod in time for the holidays.

But the HomePod is better only in the “speaker” sense. Despite all of those delays, despite the chance Apple has had to study its rivals, despite the fact that Apple says it’s been working on the HomePod for six years, the “smart” part of this speaker is way behind.

Which is so weird. Apple’s voice assistant, Siri, was born before Alexa, “OK Google,” and Cortana. It had a huge head start. It has no excuse now for being the dumbest smart assistant on the market.

The Apple HomePod is here at last: get a black or white pod in your home.
The Apple HomePod is here at last: get a black or white pod in your home.

Music first

You hear people shrieking about the HomePod’s price, which is $350. “I could get an Amazon Echo Dot for $40!”

Well, yeah. And instead of buying a Tesla, you could buy a bike off of Craigslist. It’s just not the same thing.

This thing is built. It’s a heavy, squat cylinder (6.8 inches by 5.6 inches), available in black or white. Rubber on the bottom, cloth mesh around the sides, touch-sensitive screen on the top. Even the power cord is dressed up.

The HomePod’s cord is wrapped in fabric, too.
The HomePod’s cord is wrapped in fabric, too.

The touchscreen on the top never displays words or recognizable pictures; it exists solely to offer a cool, colorful swirling LED light whenever HomePod is speaking or listening. Then it goes black.

Apple says that your music habits are encrypted and anonymized before anything’s transmitted to its servers.
Apple says that your music habits are encrypted and anonymized before anything’s transmitted to its servers.

Setting up the HomePod is incredibly easy: You just bring your iPhone near it and tap Set Up.

Things get off to a very easy start.
Things get off to a very easy start.

After a few setup screens (including, inevitably, an Apple Music ad), your Apple account password and home Wi-Fi password get transmitted automatically, and then you’re good to listen.

The iPhone walks you through the HomePod setup. No iPhone? No HomePod for you!
The iPhone walks you through the HomePod setup. No iPhone? No HomePod for you!

Assuming you’re among the 40 million subscribers of the Apple Music service ($10 a month), you’re in for a glorious ride. You can ask it to start playing music by genre, band, song name, album name, whatever. “Hey Siri — play Coldplay.” “Hey Siri — play me some 80’s dance tunes.” “Hey Siri — play ‘The Wall.’” “Hey Siri, next track.” “Hey Siri, volume up.” “Hey Siri, stop.”

You tap the top to pause playback, or tap + and – to adjust the volume. You can also double-tap for “next track,” or triple-tap for “previous track.”

You can tap these buttons for volume adjustment—or just speak your volume requests.
You can tap these buttons for volume adjustment—or just speak your volume requests.

The audio quality will floor you. Let’s just get one thing straight: The HomePod sounds better than the Google Home Max ($400), the Sonos One ($200), or the Amazon Echo Plus ($150), let alone all the smaller Echos and Google Homes. This isn’t a matter of opinion; it seems to be a universal consensus among critics, and also my own reaction, based on side-by-side blind listening tests offered at an Apple suite in New York. (I also conducted my own test, with listeners from all walks of demographics. it had very different results, as you can see here.) The HomePod has the most balanced midrange, the most detailed highs, and a crisp, muscular, musical bass the other little guys can’t touch.