Why hasn’t the Internet of Things become a thing?

Trust me—the name isn’t helping. What does “the Internet of Things” even mean? Our household objects do not have their own internet. There’s no little Twitter for thermostats, or Facebook for waffle irons.

Oh, there’s an infinitude of networkable “smart” products available—lights, thermostats, coffee makers, security cameras, door locks, sprinklers, robot vacuums, smoke detectors, microwaves, pool cleaners, baby monitors, bike locks, shower heads, crockpots, coffee mugs, soccer balls and basketballs, bathroom scales, bikes, and rolling luggage. All of it networked, all of it connected to apps on your phone.

There is not, however, a corresponding rush of people buying this smart stuff.

Consumer IoT

Sure, some early-adopter techies have installed smart thermostats and light bulbs. The Nest thermostat, for example, programs itself by observing what time you come and go, and the Honeywell Lyric uses your phone’s GPS to know when you’re approaching the house, and get it heated or cooled in advance. You can also adjust your home’s temperature and lighting from a phone app.

But mass adoption of IoT? Nope, not yet. I can count the number of people I know who own, say, an internet-connected mattress on zero fingers.

The industry’s rush to Thing-ize every ever-loving household object, no matter how silly, isn’t helping much with the category’s reputation. The following are actual products:

• IoT water bottle. There are actually five of these. They track how much water you drink.

• The IoT doggie-treat dispenser.

• The IoT toilet-paper holder. Lets your phone know when the roll needs replacing.

• The IoT umbrella.

• The IoT fork.

• The IoT toothbrush.

• The IoT trash can.

• The IoT tampon.

• The IoT egg tray. Yes, from anywhere in the world, you can now see how many eggs you have left.

Upon discovering that a remote control came with our new TV in 1979, my mom said, as I recall: “Why does anyone need this? Is it so hard to walk six feet to change the channel?”

That seems to be the public’s response to IoT devices: “Why do I need this thing?”

And also: “Am I really going to open an app to turn my lights on?”

And also: “What about security? The more entry points I offer to hackers on the internet, the easier I am to hack!”

You may recall that last month’s massive internet outage—of Twitter (TWTR), Reddit, Netflix (NFLX), Airbnb, and Spotify—was made possible by a weakness in IoT webcams made by a Chinese company called Hangzhou Xiongmai Technology.

Industrial IoT

But here’s the thing: Most people (and most reporters) who use the term “Internet of Things” are talking about consumer products. And sure enough: IoT adoption in consumer products isn’t what you’d call white hot.