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Having a healthy mindset about your finances is key to building long-term wealth, making smart financial decisions, and reaching your financial goals.
But if your relationship with money is muddled with anxiety, depression, or other negative feelings, it’s important to seek help to understand why that may be and how to overcome it.
That’s where a financial therapist comes in.
What is a financial therapist, and what do they do?
Our personal beliefs shape the way we feel about money and drive the financial decisions we make. These beliefs often stem from our upbringing, culture, and lived experiences.
A financial therapist’s job is to help you understand how these various beliefs and feelings impact your relationship with money and teach you how to work through challenges that may be limiting you or impacting your quality of life.
For example, if your parents were constantly stressed about their finances and worried about having enough money saved, you may associate money with stress and anxiety. This could make you reluctant to spend money — even when it’s necessary or warranted — to avoid those negative feelings.
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“Your relationship [with money] isn't just about dollars and cents — it is mostly made up of all the other senses leading toward stress, anxiousness, conflict in families, sleepless nights, and relationships breaking up, to name a few,” said Erika Wasserman, certified financial therapist and author of "Conversations with Your Financial Therapist: Stories and Scripts to Grow Your Money Mindset." “Yet it is the side of money that isn't often talked about,” she added. “Learning how to talk about money — not just the terms, but the feelings and triggers involved — is also important.”
Read more: Behavioral Finance 101: 7 ways your brain can sabotage your finances
4 signs you may need a financial therapist
A financial therapist can help you navigate mental roadblocks that may be limiting you. But how do you know whether you truly need one? That will require some self-reflection.
According to Wasserman, the number one question to ask yourself is: Are you confident in your relationship with money? If the answer is no, she said, it is time to talk to a financial therapist. “Just like if you needed a tune-up with your relationship, eating, or exercise, you would consult an expert. The same is true with your relationship with money.”
And if you’re still unsure, your body may already know the answer. Experiencing sleepless nights, nausea, headaches, or changes in your appetite as a result of your financial situation can be strong indicators that it’s time to get some professional help.
You might benefit from speaking with a financial therapist if you:
1. Avoid checking your bank account balance
If you feel negatively about your financial situation, ignorance may feel like bliss. A study by MarketWatch found that 42% of people avoid looking at their checking account balance out of fear.
The problem: Staying in the dark about your account balances can lead to making uninformed financial decisions. Plus, you can incur unnecessary bank fees, such as late fees and overdraft fees. And you’re more susceptible to fraud if you’re not monitoring your account balances and transactions.
Read more: 7 common banking scams and how to avoid them
2. Fight about money with your partner
It’s easy to become frustrated with your partner if their financial behaviors don’t align with your own, or if there’s financial infidelity within a relationship.
A therapist can help you and your partner understand your financial habits, where they come from, and how to adjust those habits for the sake of your relationship and your financial future together.
Read more: How to merge finances with your spouse after getting married
3. Spend or gamble compulsively
Spending money and gambling aren’t necessarily cries for help on their own, but if you’re overspending or gambling away your life savings, this could signal a deeper emotional issue.
Many people find comfort or get a high after spending money, but this high is often short-lived and can lead to a massive financial spiral, making it difficult to save money, pay down debt, and build wealth.
4. Feel anxious about spending money
Avoiding spending money can also be a sign of emotional distress and signal the need for a financial therapist. Feelings of anxiety related to spending can impact your quality of life — you may avoid making necessary purchases or investing in your future.
Read more: Are you suffering from money dysmorphia? Here are the signs.
How to find a financial therapist
Money management shouldn’t be a source of fear or anxiety. But releasing those fears and limiting beliefs takes a lot of unlearning that can be tricky to do on your own.
A financial therapist can work with you to learn more about your money personality and how certain beliefs help or hurt your financial well-being.
To find a certified financial therapist, you can visit the Financial Therapy Association website to search for a professional in your area and narrow down your options by specialization, location, and more.
