'He's Scared We're Going To Blow Through It' – Ramsey Show Caller Says $7 Million Inheritance Is Causing Tension Over $50,000 Kitchen Budget
A recent caller to The Ramsey Show dropped a surprising statement: she and her husband inherited $7 million. The caller is still adjusting to the reality and explained how this windfall has added stress rather than easing it, particularly for her husband.
“I thought it would give him peace,” she said, noting how her husband had always been worried about money and their future. Instead, the inheritance has only increased his anxiety about losing it.
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The couple had worked hard to save $1 million before the inheritance, paying off all their debts, including their home. The caller had hoped that inheriting millions would make her husband feel more secure. “He's scared we're going to blow through it,” she explained. Despite their frugal lifestyle, her husband now seemed paralyzed by fear of financial ruin.
She explained that she drives an old minivan and he drives an old car, too. She tries her best to be frugal and certainly doesn't spend lavishly. Delony quickly recognized this wasn't about the money itself. "He's stuck in a scarcity mindset," he said, highlighting that the husband's anxiety likely stems from past experiences or deep-seated beliefs. "This has nothing to do with the money," Delony added. He suggested that the inheritance may have actually intensified the husband’s existing fears, especially since he didn't "build" this wealth himself.
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The caller shared that this tension has started to affect their marriage. While she'd like to upgrade some features of their new home with the extra funds – like getting quartz countertops instead of laminate – her husband sees any spending as a personal threat. “I made a budget of $50,000 to $60,000 for extras,” she said, yet her husband views this spending as if she's “personally hurting him.”
George Kamel lightened the mood with a little perspective. "You're not crazy for spending $60,000," he said. "You're crazy for only spending $60,000." Given their new financial situation, he pointed out that the couple could easily afford to splurge. But, as Delony emphasized, the deeper issue is emotional. “This isn't about math,” he explained. The couple can crunch numbers all day long, but without addressing the underlying fears, the anxiety will persist.
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Both hosts agreed that the couple should meet with a financial advisor and a therapist. Delony encouraged the caller to approach her husband with compassion: "What he needs to know is, ‘I see you and I love you and I want to build something new with you.'" Only then can they start moving forward – both financially and in their relationship.
While navigating a sudden windfall can bring relief and tension, couples must align their goals and expectations. Open communication about financial plans, spending and saving is key to reducing stress and ensuring the money works for both partners.
People commonly struggle with the fear of losing what they’ve gained, especially when wealth arrives unexpectedly. It might help to create a clear, agreed-upon plan for the funds to avoid further strain. Consulting a financial advisor can be helpful, as they can provide expert guidance on managing the inheritance while addressing both short-term and long-term goals.
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